What You Must Know if You Are in a Relationship with a Narcissist

The two unshakable truths about a narcissist

Rule #1: A narcissist lacks responsibility, accountability, and empathy.
They will insist that everything is happening because of you—and it’s all your fault.

Rule #2: They will never, ever, validate you, your feelings, or your version of events.
No matter how much you explain, plead, or try to make them understand, it won’t happen.

This is critical to understand. If you are in a relationship—whether a marriage, a parent-child dynamic, a work relationship, or any other connection—with a narcissist, they will never truly see you.

The only perspective they value is their own. That’s the unshakable truth.

That means all the energy you spend trying to get them to understand how you feel, what you think, or how you see things will never be received or acknowledged.

And if you are someone who is deeply empathetic (which you likely are, if you’ve attracted a narcissist into your life), this can feel impossible to comprehend. How can someone just… not care? How can they not even try to understand your perspective?

Their Ego or “The Egg”: A narcissist’s most prized possession

The best way I can describe it is like this:

Imagine a narcissist has been given the most valuable, delicate, and irreplaceable possession in the world. Maybe you picture it as a priceless Fabergé egg.

They have been told that their one and only job is to protect this egg from damage—at all costs.

That egg? It’s their ego. It’s their carefully constructed image of who they believe themselves to be.

Now, imagine you approach them with something that threatens that image. It might be something small, like:
 – “I didn’t like how you spoke to me just now.”
 – “You didn’t follow through on what you said you would do.”

Or something bigger, like:
 – “You always do this, and it really hurts me.”

To most people, feedback like this might cause a moment of reflection, discomfort, or even guilt. But for a narcissist, accepting your words as true would mean cracking the egg.

And they will not let that happen. Ever.

So, to protect themselves, they will make you wrong.
They may shame you. They may rage at you. They may dismiss, twist, or distort what you said.
But one thing they will never, ever do? Accept any truth but their own.

So, where does that leave you?

The first step to understanding and escaping the stronghold of a narcissist is education. Learning more about narcissism will help you understand the rules that are at play—rules you did not create, but that you have been trapped within.

From there, working with someone like me can teach you the tools and techniques to reclaim your truth, reconnect with yourself, and decide what you need moving forward.

A deeply informed therapeutic relationship can help you heal from narcissistic abuse and begin to move forward in a way that truly supports you.

And I want you to know—it is possible.

I know because I have done it.
And I can support you to do it too.

As a PACFA Registered Psychotherapist with a BSc Hons in Psychology, I have made it my life’s work to support women in reclaiming their truth and moving forward with joy and authenticity.

Discover my services in Healing from Narcissistic Abuse, or contact me today.

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Watch my entire Narcissism series on YouTube.