What You Must Know if You Are in a Relationship with a Narcissist

The two unshakable truths about a narcissist

Rule #1: A narcissist lacks responsibility, accountability, and empathy.
They will insist that everything is happening because of you—and it’s all your fault.

Rule #2: They will never, ever, validate you, your feelings, or your version of events.
No matter how much you explain, plead, or try to make them understand, it won’t happen.

This is critical to understand. If you are in a relationship—whether a marriage, a parent-child dynamic, a work relationship, or any other connection—with a narcissist, they will never truly see you.

The only perspective they value is their own. That’s the unshakable truth.

That means all the energy you spend trying to get them to understand how you feel, what you think, or how you see things will never be received or acknowledged.

And if you are someone who is deeply empathetic (which you likely are, if you’ve attracted a narcissist into your life), this can feel impossible to comprehend. How can someone just… not care? How can they not even try to understand your perspective?

Their Ego or “The Egg”: A narcissist’s most prized possession

The best way I can describe it is like this:

Imagine a narcissist has been given the most valuable, delicate, and irreplaceable possession in the world. Maybe you picture it as a priceless Fabergé egg.

They have been told that their one and only job is to protect this egg from damage—at all costs.

That egg? It’s their ego. It’s their carefully constructed image of who they believe themselves to be.

Now, imagine you approach them with something that threatens that image. It might be something small, like:
 – “I didn’t like how you spoke to me just now.”
 – “You didn’t follow through on what you said you would do.”

Or something bigger, like:
 – “You always do this, and it really hurts me.”

To most people, feedback like this might cause a moment of reflection, discomfort, or even guilt. But for a narcissist, accepting your words as true would mean cracking the egg.

And they will not let that happen. Ever.

So, to protect themselves, they will make you wrong.
They may shame you. They may rage at you. They may dismiss, twist, or distort what you said.
But one thing they will never, ever do? Accept any truth but their own.

So, where does that leave you?

The first step to understanding and escaping the stronghold of a narcissist is education. Learning more about narcissism will help you understand the rules that are at play—rules you did not create, but that you have been trapped within.

From there, working with someone like me can teach you the tools and techniques to reclaim your truth, reconnect with yourself, and decide what you need moving forward.

A deeply informed therapeutic relationship can help you heal from narcissistic abuse and begin to move forward in a way that truly supports you.

And I want you to know—it is possible.

I know because I have done it.
And I can support you to do it too.

Ready to reclaim your life after narcissistic abuse?

Understanding narcissism can be incredibly powerful. It can help you make sense of behaviours that have left you confused, questioning yourself or constantly trying to be heard. But understanding what has happened is only the beginning.

I work with women who are ready to go deeper — to understand the patterns that have shaped their relationships, reconnect with their own needs and inner wisdom, rebuild trust in themselves, and begin making choices from a stronger, more grounded place.

All new clients begin with The Threshold Space, a six-week therapeutic journey where we work together with depth and intention. Through psychotherapy, nervous system healing and integrative therapeutic approaches, we begin to uncover what has been keeping you caught in old patterns and create meaningful change that reaches beyond simply understanding your experience.

For some women, those six weeks provide the clarity and momentum they need. For others, we continue through a personalised pathway of ongoing one-to-one work, therapeutic immersions, retreats and other transformational experiences.

There is a life beyond the patterns and relationships that have shaped you. The question becomes: what do you want to create from here?

Discover The Threshold Space & how I work
Learn more about my work with narcissistic abuse
Connect with me for a complimentary 15-minute conversation

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Want to understand more about narcissism and the patterns it creates? Watch my entire Narcissism series on YouTube.