Am I Being Gaslit By My Partner?

During my marriage to a narcissist, I became so disconnected from myself that I lost trust in my own perception of reality. If you’re reading this, I imagine that might resonate with you too.

Gaslighting is one of the most insidious forms of emotional abuse because it makes you doubt your own mind. It’s subtle at first, then before you know it, you’re questioning everything—even your own memories.

Here’s the hard truth: in a relationship with a narcissist, there are usually just two people in the room—you and them. And they are going to tell you, over and over again, that what you think just happened, didn’t happen as you experienced it. Or if it did, it was only because of something you did.

Maybe you’ve heard things like:

• “I’m only reacting to your attacks.”
• “You made me this angry—you pushed me to this.”
• “You’re too sensitive.”
• “Everyone can see that you’re the problem.”
• “You’re crazy.”
• “You’re the reason we keep going in circles—you just won’t let it go.”

These words aren’t just examples. They’re straight from a ‘secret’ list I kept during my marriage—trying to make sense of it all.

And honestly? It was crazy-making.

At the time, I was stretched so thin—living on the other side of the world from my friends and family, raising two young babies close in age, working full-time. I was exhausted. Distracted. And that’s exactly how abuse thrives—in the small, unnoticed moments, building over time like nails growing.

You don’t see it happening until one day you do. And suddenly, you’re asking yourself:
“How did we get here?”

The good news: There is another way

If the idea of your relationship staying exactly as it is feels more terrifying than the idea of change—then it’s time to take the next step.

And I promise you, it’s worth it.

The first step is education—understanding narcissism and the unspoken ‘rules’ at play. These aren’t rules you created, but they’ve been running the show. It’s time to break free from them.

From there, working with someone like me can help you:

• Reclaim your truth so you can trust yourself again.
• Reconnect with who you are beyond this relationship.
• Decide what you need and take real steps forward.

A deeply informed, supportive therapeutic relationship can help you heal from narcissistic abuse and move forward in a way that truly serves you.

And I want you to know—it is possible.

I know, because I’ve done it.
And I can support you to do it too.

Finding your way back to you

As a PACFA Registered Psychotherapist with a BSc Hons in Psychology, I have made it my life’s work to support women in reclaiming their truth and moving forward with joy and authenticity.

Discover my services in Healing from Narcissistic Abuse, or contact me today.

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