The Hidden Habit Fuelling Your Burnout: Self-Abandonment

Burnout isn’t just about doing too much—it’s often about losing touch with ourselves.

Have you ever noticed how women are experts at prioritising and making it happen, no
matter what’s thrown at them? An extra client proposal, another school sports trip, a sick
partner, a last-minute vet appointment—the list is endless. And somehow, women just get
it done.

The cost of constantly caring for others

We are incredibly attuned to the needs of those around us—our partners, children, colleagues, friends, families. You know exactly how they’re feeling, what they need, and you respond instinctively.

But here’s the cost: it’s exhausting. It’s overwhelming. And most heartbreakingly of all—it often comes at your own expense.

For many women, burnout doesn’t come from weakness. It comes from a deeply ingrained pattern of self-abandonment: consistently prioritising others over yourself, ignoring your inner voice, and pushing through exhaustion without pause.

When was the last time you gave yourself the same level of care you give to others?

When did you last stop and ask yourself:

• “What do I need?”
• “How do I feel?”
• “What would support me?”

We’ve all heard the phrase, “Put your oxygen mask on first,”—but has that ever really felt
possible for you?

If you’re here, reading this, my guess is: rarely—if ever.

Recognising self-abandonment

Self-abandonment can show up subtly, even habitually:

• Saying “yes” when you want to say “no”
• Neglecting your own needs to meet everyone else’s
• Dismissing your feelings as unimportant
• Avoiding rest because being productive feels more valuable

These behaviours often have deep roots—shaped by early experiences, reinforced by culture, and masked as selflessness. But over time, they create fertile ground for chronic stress and burnout.

The path to reconnection

Healing from burnout begins with returning to yourself:

• Acknowledge your needs: Regularly check in—what do you need physically, emotionally, mentally?
• Set boundaries: Learn to say no without guilt. Protect your time and energy.
• Prioritise self-care: Engage in things that replenish you—not as a reward for exhaustion, but as a basic form of self-respect.

Remember: choosing yourself isn’t selfish. It’s necessary.

Years of conditioning can make this feel not only daunting, but almost impossible. Even suggesting to that endlessly busy friend that she slow down and care for herself might be met with a reflexive resistance—a doubling-down on why everyone and everything else must come first. And if you’re honest, you know that feeling in your own body too.

A part of you longs for freedom, for softness… but another part feels locked in survival mode, unwilling to let the idea of doing it differently even in the door.

You’re not alone – and you don’t have to overcome burnout alone

If this resonates with you, please know: you don’t have to keep doing this on your own.

I offer a free 15-minute call to explore how I can support you in recovering from burnout and reconnecting with the parts of you that need care, attention, and space to breathe. As a PACFA Registered Psychotherapist in the Southern Highlands specialising in burnout, trauma and narcissistic abuse, I’m helping women reclaim their own identity and freedom across Australia.

Click here to book your free 15 min call with me.

My sessions are offered online, so wherever you are, help is within reach. You deserve to come back home to yourself.

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